The technique I want to put forward to you can be used both in a more active way – a means towards more self-aware interactions with others or in a more “passive” way (not sure exactly it this term fits here as, although it may be lacking the interaction bit, it definitely helps you to either gain or re-gain some self-aware strength to help you coping with all sorts of situations). To make it fully working way of dealing with straining, challenging occurrences I thought I would put it into a few phases that will help you in a cognitive, energetical and mental/emotional way to deal with what comes along.
1. Preparation which you may later use to guide you through situations that you KNOW that possibly might be too challenging or uneasy
a) Sit in a quiet space. Try to breath slowly and not to deeply. If it helps – try to count your breath – every 5 and then again.
b) Speak to yourself – saying – “I enter my private space where only I can create what I need and what feeds me. I am safe here. No one enters this space and no energy that is not mine is present here. All what is good unfolds now”
c) Breathe the same way for as long as you can.
2. Still breathing – imagine a situation which comes across as a challenging or difficult for you. Ponder on it in any way you feel like. Stop if you feel some sort of a tension. Give yourself some time to acknowledge it. Focus on it.
a) As you are focusing on it – breathe shallow breaths – inhale 5 times building up the air and focus on central part of your body – heart or your chest. After 1 minute still focusing on the problem – release the tension and exhale. Repeat the same process 10 times.
b) You may do it in one session – just focusing on one problem or tense point. Or try two – introducing yourself to that in the same way. Start with making sure you feel relatively relaxed and aware. It will enhance the whole process and makes it easier for you to relax and process.
c) After you finish – please cut yourself off. Do it your own way – it may be visualizing anything that is related e.g. a cut piece of rope, the big sign THE END (like in old western movies) or anything that takes your fancy.
3. Applying the method in social interactions.
a) If you know you will be experiencing tension, fit of self-doubt or uneasiness in situations that might come soon. Prepare yourself – after some exercise you will develop the special “taste” of energy that you feel during this practice. Keep it in your mind, on your tongue or through any other sensations – I will leave it to you – the more intimate link you have the better. It goes deeper this way.
b) To help you applying it – I will give you an example:
- There is a woman that is quite aggressive and talkative that makes you feel uneasy. It’s very difficult to talk to her on rational and sensible terms as she is offish and dismissive. You may feel a bit angry to while dealing with her. Imagine yourself in a circle of friends having a nice drink with her in your proximity asking you questions or just being there and making you feel uncomfortable. What to do? Introduce yourself to the state you developed through breathing practice. You may do it quickly just by snapping your fingers, starting to remember the “taste” while still breathing the same way.
- Try to initiate the link with your feelings. Be frank with yourself. Let yourself feel uneasy, and vulnerable – being strong doesn’t necessarily comes first. If you identify the feeling – dwell on it – build up the energy by taking 5 inhales, shallow ones and then release it. Listen to this person while still doing it. If you do it in an aware way – you may observe how the whole tension slowly disappears, you may experience something else e.g. certain thoughts, feelings – record them.
- You don’t necessarily have to seek for challenging situations. Try to re-enact them in your imagination. Dwell on the meaning. It will come
- Repeat again.